IELTS writing test - sample answers

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Free healthcare - band 7

The healthcare system is so important nowadays as it is controversial, because a great amount of money is spent each year by governments worldwide. Some people believe that health services should be free for everyone, although alternative views suggest that those who live unhealthy lifestyles should pay entirely for them. As far as I am concerned I agree that the healthcare system should be free and in this essay I will explain my point of view.

First of all, health is an essential good and should be a right for every resident of a country. For example, a rich person should not have access to better treatments just because they can pay for them. Instead, I truly believe that every citizen should have equal access to healthcare as well as equal opportunities to treatments.

Secondly, if sick people are not treated on time, even if their sickness is related to unhealthy lifestyles, the treatment´s cost will be even higher as the disease becomes more severe. A good illustration of this is people with diabetic foot. If these diabetics do not treat their wounds, they may have to cut their foot off later, which will be much more expensive for everyone. Also, the quality of life of these citizens will decrease significantly.

Finally, everyone needs health in order to work and contribute to a country´s economy, so I personally agree that a quality healthcare should be given to all citizens. For instance, even people who have drug related problems, should try to recover, so they can work and be valuable for society.

To conclude, I totally believe that free health services are really important to society, because everyone deserves the opportunity to be in good health. However, I also think that governments should invest more in health education, as a lot of issues could be prevented if citizens had more knowledge about healthy lifestyles and disease prevention. 

(316 words)

Task Achievement

This is a good response, which has some good arguments which are supported by examples and also makes the writer's own position clear. A more balanced argument looking at the issues on both sides would increase the score in this area. (7)

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has been organised into separate, coherent paragraphs and includes some linkers. (7)

Lexical Resource

Some good vocabulary has been used with a good awareness of less common collocations. The essay also has a suitably formal register. (7)

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Some examples of more complex structures have been used, like the passive. An even wider range of structures would improve the band score in this area. (7)

Overall Comment - how to improve

This is a good response which makes some good arguments supported by examples and the language used is mostly accurate. Work on including a wider range of grammatical structures, and on linking your ideas together more, and think about discussing both views even if you disagree with one of them.

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