1.4.1 Riverville Hotels - Sample
The bar graph shows the number of rooms occupied by visitors in 3 hotels namely Park Hotel, Lakeside Hotel and Hotel Lux located in Riverville
town area.The occupancy rate of the rooms of the respected hotels was affected by 2 main events and 2 incidences that happened during the peak season. [good intro] In Between June 4th- 8th, due to a train strike, Park Hotel had gained 50% of room occupants only 50% of Park Hotel’s rooms were occupied, as compared to Lakeside Hotel which had 10% less er whereas Hotel Lux had the least. However, in July, 3rd-12th due to an Arts festival s, Hotel Lux’s room occupancy had soared amongst in comparison to the other 2 hotels though both of them also had also a significant increase repectively (Park Hotel 78%, Lakeside hotel 80%).
In contrast, from August 15th -19th,
where when there was a regional sports championship, Park Hotel maintained its popularity (80%). Hotel lux had a slight decrease of 10% with regards to rooms accomodation whileLakeside Hotel had a great loss at during this period due to its fire incident that happened last on July 28th. There was a dramatic decrease of 60% of room occupants as compared last 2 months ago to the previous month.
To sum up, the 3 hotels had a great demand
s of rooms in July, but unfortunately in August, Lakeside Hotel made a great loss.
Red = corrections
Green = suggested improvements
Word count 191
Minimum word count: 150
Good – a clear overview of the information with sufficient detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good – well-organised with good range of linkers.
Good – appropriate range of language used to describe graphical information.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Satisfactory – good use of past simple in general but punctuation, prepositions and sentence structure all need improving.
Grammatical accuracy needs to be improved particularly in the following areas: punctuation, prepositions, articles, relative clauses > iPass Toolbox Exercises