IELTS writing test - sample answers

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1.4.1 Riverville Hotels - Sample

The bar graph shows the number of rooms occupied by visitors in 3 hotels namely Park Hotel, Lakeside Hotel and Hotel Lux located in Riverville town area.The occupancy rate of the rooms of the respected hotels was affected by 2 main events and 2 incidences that happened during the peak season. [good intro]

In Between June 4th- 8th, due to train strike, Park Hotel had gained 50% of room occupants only 50% of Park Hotel’s rooms were occupiedas compared to Lakeside Hotel which had 10% lesser whereas Hotel Lux had the least. However, in July, 3rd-12th  due to an Artfestivals, Hotel Lux’s room occupancy had soared amongst in comparison to the other 2 hotels though both of them also had also a significant increase repectively (Park Hotel 78%, Lakeside hotel 80%).

In contrast, from August 15th -19thwhere when there was a regional sports championship, Park Hotel maintained its popularity (80%).  Hotel lux had a slight decrease of 10% with regards to rooms accomodation whileLakeside Hotel had a great loss at during this period due to its fire incidenthat happened last on July 28th. There was a dramatic decrease of 60% of  room occupants as compared last 2 months ago to the previous month.

To sum up, the 3 hotels had a great demands of rooms in July, but unfortunately in August, Lakeside Hotel made a great loss.

Red = corrections

Green = suggested improvements

Word count 191

Minimum word count: 150          

Task Achievement

Good – a clear overview of the information with sufficient detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

Good – well-organised with good range of linkers.

Lexical Resource

Good – appropriate range of language used to describe graphical information.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Satisfactory – good use of past simple in general but punctuation, prepositions and sentence structure all need improving.

Overall

Grammatical accuracy needs to be improved particularly in the following areas: punctuation, prepositions, articles, relative clauses > iPass Toolbox Exercises

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