Cultural Differences - band 7
People believe that tourists visiting other countries should always keep in mind to follow the customs and traditions of such nations. Whereas others say that the host nations should be open to cultural diversity. This essay will discuss key points of both these views and present the writer's opinion.
To begin, tourists visiting countries which are known to be rich in culture and tradition often have strict practices in maintaining their identity in which they require their visitors to pay respect to their way of life. Consequently with these practices, visitors develop a sense of open mindedness and flexibility to be able to socialize with the locals as well as built relationship between the host and the visitors. These characters will not only open doors of opportunities for the visitors to gain access to the unique identity of the country, but also it would build ties with the tourists and the host country.
On the other hand, countries should practice globalisation to be able to welcome cultural diversity which in turn would enrich the countries' tourism and economy. These days, nations should embrace the fact that culture also involves change and with this, it is important that a country should also develop a sense of diversity in welcoming tourists from different cultural background to be able to build lasting relationship with the tourists' home countries. For instance, the Philippines have been visited by Korean people these days because the government has allowed its locals to enjoy, discover and provide Korean food and music to practice hospitality to these tourists and show how open to cultural differences is the Philippines.
In conclusion, visitors and host countries play pivotal roles in terms of cultural identity and cultural diversity. I believe that both views is a two-way system that needs to work hand in hand with each other to develop the sense of respect required from visitors about a nation's culture and practices, and to further embrace globalisation and diversity for the countries being visited.
332 words
Task Achievement
This essay makes some relevant points on the topic and makes the candidate's own opinion clear, although it is not included in the introduction. An example to support each main idea would also help to strengthen the overall argument. (7)
Coherence & Cohesion
The organisation and paragraphing is appropriate for this kind of essay, although the structure and linking within each main paragraph could be improved to provide more cohesion and coherence. (7)
Lexical Resource
Overall, the candidate has used a good range of vocabulary to convey meaning and shown a good awareness of collocation. (7.5)
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
A good range of language structures has been used although there are small errors with punctuation and subject-verb agreement. (7)
Overall Comment - how to improve
This essay makes some relevant points within a clear structure. To improve, the candidate needs to check carefully for small grammatical errors, consider precise word choices and support the arguments with more examples.
