1.4.2 Riverville Hotels - Sample
The graph shows the
trend rate at which three Riverville hotels in the town of Riverville were booked during a tourist season s and the contributing factors.
In June, the number of occupied rooms
were was lower than other months in all the hotels because of the train strike which took place over four days. Just around 30 to 50% were occupied in Park Hotel, Lakeside, hotels and the Hotel Lux.
In July all the hotels reached a peak
in all the hotels with bookings of about 95% in Hotel Lux. Lakeside and Park Hotel s had approximately the same booking rate of 80%. This was because of the Arts festival held from the 3rd to the 12th of July. It The graph further illustrates that August had saw significant bookings in Park Hotel and Hotel Lux because of the regional sports championships from the 15th to 19th August. Both had similar figures of almost 80% of occupied rooms respectively. The least booked was Lakeside with just about 20%, a significantly low rate which was affected mainly by the fire on the 12th of July.
Finally, the chart clearly indicates that most bookings were influenced by festivals and sporting occasions.
Very strong – all the main factors and how they affected the hotels' success have been explained clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good – well-structured and logically ordered but need to increase range of linking words.
Good – clear attempt to use appropriate vocab for describing data.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Good – mistakes occur when attempting more complex sentences but in general, structures are accurate.
Try to increase range of numerical expressions and vary use of linking words for describing cause and effect - iPass Writing Module - Smoking
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