1.1.2 Highford University - Sample
The bar chart shows a survey result about the types of goods and services purchased on the internet/online by students on three different courses, namely arts, science and business. on the internet
As we can expect, study resources play an important role for all kinds of students. Over 80% of business students bought books and computer equipment online, followed by approximately 75% of students on the other two courses students for the former and 70% of science students and 60% of art students for the latter. For arts students, music CDs and video DVDs downloads were their favourite buys, with almost 90% and more than 70% purchasing them respectively. In comparison, business students preferred to travel while science students were more interested in computer games downloads. Both the arts and business students spent a minimum amount of money on computer games, only 20% and 30% of them, respectively. And science students’ last choice was travel.
Overall, we can find out learn that basic study materials account for the major part of all student purchases and the consuming pattern of students was influenced by the needs of the courses they studied.
Word count:171 Red = corrections
Minimum word count: 150 Green = suggestions
Good – a clear and concise overview given with relevant comparisons and sufficient use of supporting statistics.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good – adequate range of linkers accurately used.
Good – appropriate use of vocabulary to describe data.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Good – reasonable range of structures used with minimum error.
Increase range of expressions to compare data - iPass Module - Smoking
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