2.6.1 Traditional Culture - Sample
The new technology is gradually destroying our culture and its components. It is the driving force behind social change, imposing its own logic on the actors and their relations like use of languages [not sure this is relevant here], transforming our traditional norms and values.
First of all, technology has abolished the social interaction between families, friends and
the society in different ways. For instance, most people spend time indoors watching television and surfing the internet. The use of advanced communication techniques like video cassettes as teaching aids, instead of face to face community events, has also affected the society negatively. [the question is about culture not really about relationships and communication]
In addition to that, our talent and culture is disappearing in the sense that we copy from celebrities
in on the internet and television. Culture determines the way in which individuals are identified and recognised, therefore we are wiping out/away our specific values by external behaviour s inspired by foreign technology. I would also argue that we are not challenging our mental and academic capabilities as we copy different lifestyles and their ideas, which means we are not innovative. The Appropriate measures could be imposed to link culture and technology. This will would bring enhance the developments of our living standards, which include social, political and cultural spheres. For instance, the use of media and communication to understand different cultures and values. This could expand our horizons by looking at a wide range of cultural information.
In conclusion, the protection of cultural identity and reinforcing it are of vital importance. We could accept the realities of the present world and protect our culture by the use of
the new technology.
Satisfactory – clear position but some parts are not relevant to the question which should be about technology and its impact on traditional culture.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good – well-structured with sufficient range of linking words.
Very good – wide range of vocab used to convey precise meanings.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
Good –. Uses a variety of structures and sentences are generally error-free.
With a careful study of the use of articles in English you could eliminate your grammatical errors - Toolbox Exercise